Insights from High Schoolers

on the Middle School Experience

Overview of Oct 15, 2025 PTSA General Membership presentation

High school students shared candid advice for parents on supporting middle schoolers through identity exploration, changing friendships, academic transitions, study habits, and social media. They emphasized listening over solving, balanced expectations about grades and rigor, healthy boundaries for technology, and helping kids try many activities to discover interests.

Identity, exploration, and emotional support

• Middle school is a “developing community” where kids try new things and don’t yet know who they are. Encourage exploration across subjects and activities rather than locking into a single pathway.
• Kids may struggle to articulate emotions; be available when they do open up (often late at night). Listen without immediately offering solutions; sometimes they just need a “rock.”
• Friend groups change substantially from sixth to eighth grade; parents’ steady support helps kids navigate ups and downs.

Academics and workload differences

• Transition from elementary brings more homework, six classes daily (plus advisory), large student bodies, and higher stress. There’s no recess. Coping skills and understanding from parents are critical.
• Keep social life active alongside academics to manage stress.
• Avoid overemphasis on grades in middle school; let kids enjoy being kids while building good habits.

Choosing paths and parental expectations

• Interests change: examples included moving from medicine to computer science and back, and later toward interior design. Parents initially pushed certain directions (e.g., computer science) and even arranged career talks centered on pay; genuine support grew when they saw sustained passion and achievements (e.g., interior design competition success).
• Some families expect only A grades; students noted colleges also care about the person beyond grades - they care about the WHOLE student.
• Too much freedom can also be hard; one student felt lost when told “do whatever you want,” even picking a major on application day. Many are still figuring themselves out.
• Sleep patterns shift later; attempts to enforce early bedtimes felt unrealistic to some students. Parents were urged to respond with understanding.

Social dynamics, kindness, and reading

• Cliques are common; acknowledge your child might sometimes be unkind. Encourage admitting mistakes and apologizing to help reduce bullying cycles.
• Parents of boys were told that many follow their peers intensely (“if his friends do it, he wants to as well”). Guide them to think independently about what’s beneficial and best for them.
• Reading matters: even 10 pages daily (start with accessible books like Diary of a Wimpy Kid) improves vocabulary and benefits later courses such as AP Lang.

Course selection, rigor, and AP classes

• Let students sample varied electives in middle school (e.g., video editing) to build skills transferable to presentations and other classes.
• Set balanced academic standards collaboratively (e.g., an A- goal; a B can be acceptable temporarily if recovered).
• AP classes: avoid overloading early in high school. Personal accounts described severe stress (e.g., AP Physics) and difficulty dropping courses. Consider one or two APs freshman year to acclimate, then scale thoughtfully based on wellbeing.

Social media: boundaries, risks, and trust

• Delay social media if possible; several suggested waiting until eighth grade or age 14. If allowed, use app limits and agreed-upon, occasional parental checks focused on safety, not prying.
• Dangers cited: addictive design, cyberbullying, predatory or “weird” adults, easy access to explicit content (including gore and pornography), body-image pressures (especially for girls), and online communities promoting harmful behaviors (e.g., eating disorders). These can distort how teens view themselves and others.
• Build trust and talk openly about the good and bad of social media. Earlier controlled exposure (e.g., YouTube Kids, time limits) helped some develop self-regulation later.

Study habits that worked

• Environment and structure: use a desk (not bed), good lighting, and minimize distractions. Many benefited from putting phones away; others did better with short, intentional phone breaks. White noise can aid focus.
• Planning and rewards: time-block after school; track assignments on a whiteboard with checklists; use small rewards (e.g., a cookie or a treat) to reinforce progress. Avoid last-minute work where possible, though styles vary.
• Techniques: Pomodoro (e.g., 25 minutes study, 5 minutes break); color-coded notes (pencil and highlighter for key points); short breaks with puzzles (e.g., solving a Rubik’s Cube) to reset.
• Resources and guidance: some learned from teachers (e.g., honors biology), others from YouTube study channels. Activities like Science Olympiad built transferable study skills for high school.
• Location variety: occasional study sessions at a cafe with a parent provided a motivating change of setting and bonding opportunity.

Balance, activities, and health

• Don’t let studying crowd out everything else. Encourage sports, music, robotics, walks, and trying many activities to discover interests and avoid burnout.
• Let them be kids and make mistakes - it’s normal and they learn from it!
• Build punctuality, timeliness, and discipline in middle school; these habits compound and support later success in high school.

Parenting approaches that helped bonding

• Listening instead of nagging built trust and made teens more likely to share.
• Simple routines (board games on Fridays, karaoke on weekends, short daily walks) strengthened connection, especially valuable before high school gets busier.

Q&A highlights

• How to teach study skills: a mix of teacher guidance and self-directed learning (YouTube) helped. Parents can support by helping set up a dedicated study space, encouraging planning tools, and modeling time management.
• Staying connected: non-pressuring support and consistent small family activities built openness. Teens appreciated space coupled with steady availability.
• Why social media guardrails: beyond addiction, exposure to harmful content and unsafe interactions can shape behavior and self-image. Agreed limits and occasional safety checks were recommended.

Next steps / actions

• Parents: encourage exploration; listen without immediately fixing; co-create balanced academic standards; discuss course rigor and AP loads thoughtfully; set social media limits and safety checks; help establish a study environment and routines; promote reading and extracurriculars; add simple family bonding rituals.
• Let kids be kids. They have plenty of time ahead that will require them to work hard.
• Organizers: consider a future session on credits, Running Start, and in‑state vs. out‑of‑state transfer implications (as suggested at closing).

Thank You...

** Thank you to the High School Panel, made up of juniors and seniors from North Creek High School. They took time out of their busy schedules to come and share with our community. They were thoughtful, poised and shared a lot of really useful ideas.

Panel Participants:

Madhurima Sarkar, Avika Arora, Sydnei Staley, Hiya Patel, Anavi Bhide, Hari Manasa Deevi, Deetya Pradhan, Anoushka Haloi

** Thank you, so much, Principal Sharyn Mehner, for your idea for this event, for coordinating it, and for thoughtfully documenting the information and ideas shared by this panel. Skyview PTSA is very lucky to be able to work closely this year with you and your team.